Webcam fun!

Tonight is the night I decided to video myself doing the nightly injections. And yes, that means I am still doing the injections, I did not get the news I wanted to from the doctor today. It's ok though, we are just a day or so off schedule, and that means I got a chance to make my little videos. I used B's new webcam on his laptop and I taped myself doing the 3 different injections. I've watched the first one and it's kind of corny, but I think I'll like to look back on this. I told Billy that some people made sex tapes, but we are making injection tapes, because THIS is how our baby is being made, lol...

Anyway, my follicles are not quite as big as they need to be, so I have to wait another couple of days for the retrieval. It was supposed to be on Thursday, but he told me it would be Friday or Saturday now. I definitely feel different though. My belly feels full and bloated and that's what it's supposed to do. I'll go back on Wednesday morning and we'll see how much more they've grown and hopefully be ready to proceed.

I was sitting in the doctor's office this morning thinking about what a somber place it is. It's not a bad thing necessarily, but everyone kind of gives you the half hearted smile, the " I know why you're here" smile. And while I think that's nice, I almost feel like I'm at a funeral, or someone's viewing...I don't make much eye contact, I look down and give that weird SMILE. We are at a fertility clinic! Feritlity. That is a positive word, right? I mean yes, we are having problems, but we have hope. Some people dont' have any hope yet. But we still do, and I feel like I need to be positive about that and have a more optimistic attitude about it. And I feel like I do, I feel like I've had a good attitude this whole time. Maybe not every single day, all day, but overall yes, good attitude. One point for Beth! :-)

So the next few times I go in I am going to try to smile more, a real genuine smile. Just a regular, hello how are you smile, and not a sympathetic smile. We dont' need sympathy, we need hope.