From Friday, 33 week appt

We had our ultrasound today and everything looks good with the babies, and with me! Baby A is measuring about 5 pounds and 1 ounce, and Baby B is about 4 pounds and 12 ounces, so they're about 1/2 pound apart, which is fine. As long as they are within 1 pound of each other, that is good. Both babies have good fluid around them, and seem to be progressing and growing just as they should be. Baby A is still head down, and it is stretched out and up, it's back/butt is up toward the top of my stomach, on the right, along with its feet. Baby B is still head up, and exactly the opposite way, it's butt is down the left side, and right now, it is folded up with it's feet up and right near it's head. so basically, both of their feet are toward the top of my belly, which is right where I feel most of the movement. I am definitely swelling, and it's not going down too much at all. The doctor said that whatever I decided to do about work, they would support, and it would be completely fine and normal if I decided to quit work early. I'm going to just play it by ear, work the next 2 weeks, since I have 2 days off anyway, and then after the first of the year, see how the swelling is and see how uncomfy I am. Driving is not an easy thing right now, and having to drive 45 mins each way can be a bit much at times. They told me again that the babies probably would not move much more at this point, due to space constrictions. So unless a miracle happens and Baby B really decides it wants to completely flip, the likelihood of having a c-section is pretty high, since both of them will not be head down. I'm sure stranger things have happened, but the chances are decreasing, that's for sure! So in a nutshell, everything is still going just fine! They said the babies look good and healthy, and I am doing good. I am def. having contractions, I had 3 while I was there in the doctor's office, and I just have to watch them and be mindful of them and try to count if I can. I still dont' always know exactly when I'm having one, but I'm going to try to be more conscious of it. Since we've had some computer probs, my scanner is not hooked up anymore, but I'll see if we can hook it up again, and I'll scan a few ultrasound pics over the weekend and send them. You can see Baby B's face really good, Baby A's is all crunched down in the pelvis area, so you couldn't see it's face very well at all. Anyway, something is better than nothing! Keep us in your thoughts and prayers, it's getting close! :-)

Playing catch up

Not too much has been going on for me to blog about, and I really have to be in the mood to sit down and do it. Everything is still going just fine with us and with the babies. I saw the regular OB today, not much was said, and then we go to our favorite doctor for the ultrasound on Friday morning. I know we'll have much more of a statistical update then!
Pregnancy is still going well, though I have many more aches and pains than before. I'm not sleeping still which has been a tough adjustment. I have now permanently moved to the couch and though every once in a while I try to start out in the bed, I only last about an hour. I can't lay on my sides at all, so I sleep pretty much sitting up, propped up on pillows. I'm getting used to it though and the other night, I slept for a whole 6 hours!!!!

I've started swelling a little. I have prided myself in not having many of "those" symptoms, but I can't be in denial any longer. My feet/ankles are def. swelling and I guess it just goes with the territory.

My belly has also taken an unexpected turn down. It used to be out...but now, after taking my last set of pictures, it looks...weird. It hangs down more, not to be gross or anything, but it def. looks different, and I didn't even realize it until I looked at the pictures. It looks more like a beer belly to me right now, lol...which by the way, I never ever want to have. Ever.

We took our last trip to WR before the babies came, last weekend. It was nice to see everyone, and I'll just leave you with a few pictures to enjoy! Happy Monday!

Was this me?

I've always admired pregnant people and their bellies. I've always enjoyed looking at pictures of pregnant people and how much their bodies change. I think it's neat and natural and beautiful.
Now that I'm pregnant, I find that people stare at me, which is slightly weird. Anywhere I'm going, at work, at a store, anywhere, people politely smile and their gaze travels down to my belly. I can see it move, and I'm like wait, where are your eyes going?!
And they settle on the belly.
I wonder if I used to do that too? I think some if it is natural, you don't really mean for it to happen...but it's still slightly strange. So from now on, once my pregnancy is over, I am going to attempt to look at the person and NOT the belly. Unless I can do it in secret, lol...

From My Babies....

Apparently the babies heard me and Billy talking one day about these Christmas bathroom decorations at Target. I didn't think we could really afford to get them, but apparently the babies thought we definitely needed them. Sooo, yesterday when I got home from work, I had a big box wrapped up, just waiting to be opened. And this is what was inside, with the adorable tag on the outside!
I love my husband very much!

Bloody noses and curtains

I got my first nose bleed of pregnancy this weekend and acutally, I had 2!
I had the first one in Billy's parent's car of all places. Then about 2-3 hours later, I was sitting on their couch, just sitting there watching TV and it started again. Have no idea what caused it, but it happened. A pregnancy symptom, yes!!!

My sweet husband put the curtains up in the baby room this weekend, all by himself, and without me knowing. We ran errands on Saturday morning and I was slightly sleepy when we got home, and I took a little nap. When I got up later on and was moving around the house, I noticed they were up! They look cute and I thought it was so sweet that he'd do it without even being asked.

My computer died, no more power to it right now, so I can't scan the ultrasound pictures right now. I tried to take pictures from the DVD, but they are blurry and you can't see them well at all. Sooo, no ultrasound pictures at this time. Maybe they will come later.

Hope the weekend was well! :-)

29 week update

This is the e-mail update I sent out this morning, from our appt:

Well, I had my ROC appt this morning, I'm at 29 weeks today.
Everything still looks great! My cervix is still "nice and long and closed" and both babies look awesome.
Baby A is measuring at 3 pounds, 9 ounces, and Baby B is measuring at 3 pound 7 ounces. So they are good sized babies, and basically growing at the rate of a singleton pregnancy right now. Both heartbeats look good, the amniotic fluid looks good, the doctor said that everything was just going great. Their first goal with twins is to get to 28 weeks, and then the next goal is 32 weeks, so by the time I go in and see them again, I'll be at 33 weeks.
Baby A's head is down, in the lower left section of my tummy and its body curls around to the right, and its feet are up in the upper right section of the belly. Baby B's head is at the top right of my tummy ( Baby A has its feet on B's head), and B is folded up, with its feet and legs also on top of its head. It's butt is going across the tummy, down to the left, so basically B's butt is in A's head. B is just sitting across the middle of the top of the stomach, kind of bent over.
The pictures we got today are not great, we were in a different ultrasound room, but I will still scan them tonight. I might also take some still shots of the DVD, and maybe try to see how they look. Either way, they'll be coming later, since I have to do that from home.
Please continue to pray for us and wish us good health through the remaining weeks of this pregnancy, which is less than 9 to go!!!!


So you can see from the above that everything is going great!
Sleep is NOT. I am having a terrible time getting comfy. I know it's all part of pregnancy, but it's very hard, laying down at night, getting ready to sleep the night away and you can't. I do have a new pillow though and hopefully that will help a bit.

I had my first baby related bad dream last night. I actually had 2, one worse than the other. The first one I dreamed that the babies came early and they were making me hold both of them. One was very small, but looked normal. The other one was not developed at all, it actually looked like a soup ladel ( have no idea what that means), and I kept saying, this one is not Ok, and they made me hold it, and kept saying that we needed to let God know that we wanted to keep the baby with us. It was sooo sad, and in my dream me and Billy were just crying and crying, holding the babies...and of course I woke up just sobbing. I was on the couch, so I went and woke Billy up so he could console me.

The next dream I had was that I had an ingrown hair in my stomach. I was trying to get it out, pluck it, cut it, cut a little of it out, and I was doing a little surgery on my stomach and I accidentally cut into my stomach, and it ended up being the baby's hair, not an ingrown hair. I had the little hole in my belly, and I was just trying to pull the hair out, and I realized it was attached to a head, that I could now see in my belly. Very weird.

I know that a lot of people have dreams, but I don't like the bad ones! I hope I don't have many more!

Pictures will be coming later this weekend, of the ultrasound, and of my 29 week belly. I know everyone is just dying to see THAT!
Happy Friday!

Quick look back

This is the first picture of my belly that we took, at 6 weeks....

And here it is now! At 27 weeks and counting...I think it's changed a tiny bit, lol....


Today I did the diabetes walk with Fidelity, AKA The Sugar Substitutes! I walked with Christie ( my sis in law) and Aunt Sandra. It was held at the zoo, and we just walked around, looked around, and did our duty to help fight Diabetes. Here is the team photo, minus a few team members who didn't get to the photo shoot in time!

Catch up

2 weekends ago I had my baby shower in WR, and here are just a few pictures from that. I have a lot, but of course can only post a few. It was great seeing everyone who came, most were people I never get to see. There were actually more people there than I expected and my sister ended up having to bring the rest of my goodies the next weekend when she came...which leads to the next picture...



Last Sunday, the 2nd, we saw New Kids on the Block in concert!!!! It was fabulous and we had such a good time! We went to Tampa to see them and it was worth the trip and the drizzly cool weather...when they came out, and especially when they sang the old school songs, the crowd went crazy, as did we. I tried to keep my screaming down, but it was hard. I read in my book that it was Ok to go to a concert now and then, so I felt alright about going, and subjecting the babies to noise. Hopefully they will know all the words to Hangin' Tough when they start talking!

PIctures from Neil

Just a few pictures from Neil Diamond. They are blurry because I didn't use my flash. I was too scared to, after sneaking the camera in! Hehe - that's my attempt to live on the edge!

Diamond in the sky

We went to see Neil Diamond last night, and had a fun time. I didn't know all that many of the songs, but it was Ok, and fun to see the older ladies getting so excited about him! I'm not sure what the babies thought....they didn't jump around too too much. I guess the true test will be at the New Kids concert on Sunday!

I am 26 weeks today, so 6 1/2 months along. Less than 3 months to go. Janet came over on Tuesday night and we went thru all the WR baby shower stuff and organized, sorted into piles of stuff I need to wash, counted everything. I am in good shape, and she said if the babies came tomorrow, I would basically have what I needed to start. So that was good. However, it was very overwhelming and the more I think about going in there, and actually starting on washing, and folding things and putting the stuff in drawers...I get kind of scared. I guess that is Ok though and part of our learning process.
I hope that when I start to "nest" I will be more in the mood to do it. Normally, I like to fold and organize clothes, but for some reason, I just feel completely lost with this.

Anyway, that's it for now. Happy Halloween!

My25-week appt update:

Greetings everyone! We had both of our appts today and everything is going GREAT! We are truly blessed and we are so happy and excited. Both of the babies look good. Baby A weighs 2 pounds, 2 oz and Baby B weighs 1 pound, 15oz, so they are right at 3 oz apart. That is fine, it's very consistent with the way they've always been. Both are growing at good rates, and both measure slightly over what I actually am. I'm 25 weeks and 3 days and both are measuring right around 26 weeks. All organs still look fine, heartbeats look good and normal...everything just looks really good, and we couldn't ask for anything else. If you don't want TMI, skip the next line or so, but everytime we go in she just raves about my cervix, and how pretty it is, and how nice and long it is, lol...which it's supposed to be long, when it starts shortening, that means it's getting ready for babies to come out, and we def. don't want that yet. It's so funny though, because she always talks about how nice it looks, and we're like okkkk...well thanks! :-)
Anyway, that's all until next month when we go back again! Here are a few pics. My 25 week belly picture, and some ultrasound pictures from today. There are 2 of Baby B, one of their heads together, and then one of Baby A that is not labeled A, but it is.
Oh yeah - both babies are head up, right where ours are, and they are verrrry high, right under my ribs. Baby B is kind of crossed over toward the bottom right, and then Baby A kind of curves over and toward the left. They cross at some point, while she was doing the ultrasound, Baby B's legs were going over A's stomach.
But all of the little punches and movements I'm feeling is apparently their heads and fists/arms! Their legs are down in the lower part of my belly, which is where I'm now feeling some weird moving sensations.
Anyway, continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers as usual!
Love ya'll,
Beth

St. Augustine pictures

One more quick post! Me and Billy went to St. Augustine on Sunday for the day and just mosied around, had a very nice day. Here are just a few pictures from our day trip!

Looks and questions

I have wanted to be pregnant for a long time now...I've always been one to stand in front of the mirror and pouch out my stomach a little bit from time to time, just to imagine what I would look like pregnant. Now I am, and I'm loving every single minute of it.
I will say though - it's strange for people to stare at me and the belly. Some people say things, they ask questions, when are you due, do you know what you're having? But some people just look, and you can feel them looking...but you don't really know what to say.
Yesterday, I was with a volunteer in our employee health office, and this other lady was sitting there, staring and then she blurted out " are you pregnant?" Very loud, just like she was busting at the seams to ask! I replied Why yes I am. And then she proceeded with her line of questionning as well.
Again, I like the attention, I like, it's just kind of weird at times, and something I'm definitely not used to!
That's all for now, not too much to report. I go to WR this weekend for my 2nd baby shower and I"m excited about that! Then we go back to the doctors on Monday, so of course I'll post an update on that too. Happy Wednesday!

Nursery pictures

Here are just a few pictures of the nursery. The green is called “Asparagus.” My sister, Kristin, and her boyfriend Eliseo did most of it. They taped everything everything, and painted. Then my mom helped them put up the border. Everyone helped put the furniture together, though Kristin and Eliseo did a lot of the work. I think it turned out great, and I love it!





Here are pictures of the cribs with the loot from the baby shower!

A baby shower!

Saturday, October 11th, I had my first baby shower. It was great. There was a good turn-out, the food was super, and my gifts were awesome. I got a lot of really nice things and it just reminded me how much I am loved and how excited everyone is about our babies! I think everyone had a good time, I hope they did at least.
Not too much has been going on here. I am having the same pain in my back all the time. My mom thinks the babies are laying on a nerve. And I have the same pain in my right upper belly, and she said she had the exact same pain with all 3 of us, and my sister, Kristin, had the same pain when she was pregnant too. There's no real explanation, even though I am going to ask the doctor about it again the next time we go in. Honestly though, I try my hardest to not complain about those things, because it could be much worse. This pregnancy has gone extremely well and I feel very lucky for that.
Anyway, here are just a few pictures from the shower!

Saying good-bye

After this week of losing Janet's mom, it was harder for me to say good-bye to my family today when they left. I'm always sorry to see them go...but this time, once I got in my car, I felt a little extra sense of sadness that they are far away and I don't get to spend much time with them. At Renae's funeral on Friday, the pastor talked about time..and using all the time we have now. Right now, for the good, and not putting off loving someone, or doing something for someone...just show everyone each and every day how much you love and care for them. Renae did that, she showed people that she loved them. I want to do that too, and it makes me sad that I can't see my family as regularly as I'd like to.

On a different note, the reason they came down was to do my nursery and it is done! I love it! We painted the walls green, Asparagus, and we put all the furniture together, put the border up, etc. I will take pictures later and post them. It looks good though and I am very thankful they were able to come down and help me do it, well actually they did it all. I didn't do much of anything, lol...

The babies are definitely moving more now and it's neat to feel them. Billy can def. feel them, and Christie has felt them. My mom finally did last night, after trying several times, so that was good. Not to go back to the funeral again, but during the service, it was strange to me that we were saying good-bye to Renae and could feel our precious babies moving and thumping me at the same time. They are just starting life, and Renae's has ended and she's moving on the next stage now. It just seemed...I don't know what the word is, ironic. I was so sad to be there to say good-bye to Renae, I feel so sad for her family, especially Janet, one of the most precious people to me in the world, but I felt happy inside because I was feeling the babies move. And I think that is Ok. I felt weird about it for just a short minute, but I know Renae wouldn't have wanted that, she would be happy to know that we have been able to accomplish this, and have these babies that we've wanted for so long. Anyway, I am rambling now, sorry.

Overall, this last week has been tiring, draining, sad, hard...but also happy and promising for me. I feel so blessed to have my family and friends and I want to hold on to them for dear life and never let go. I want to enjoy everything single minute of every single thing, and I am going to strive to do that. The end.

Appt update

We had our doctor appts today and everything went really well! Here is the e-mail update I sent out earlier:

We had our ROC appt this morning and everything went very well! Of course we had an ultrasound, that's the reason we go each month and both babies look great. Baby A weighs 1 pound, 3 ounces, and Baby B weighs 1 pound 1 ounce, so they are just 2 ounces apart, which is good. They are both measuring 22 weeks and a few days, which is good, they are right on track!

Both babies were laying head down, kind of diagonal across my stomach. Their heads were butting up against each other ( we got a picture of that).

Because of the way both of them are laying, I am def. feeling little kicks, in my upper right area of my stomach, which has been the area I feel most. Both placentas are still on top of them, so it's between them and me.

They are still growing and progressing just as they should, and she said that both of them are just "beautiful!" We really love this sonographer and hope we can have her each time, it makes a big difference.

Ummmm...other than that, not much to report! We will go back in 4 weeks exactly for the next scan, but everything looks A-Ok for now, and she said that things are just going great!

:-)

We are very thankful for this and just pray that things will continue to go so well. Life is precious and we feel so blessed to have these babies in our lives.

Billy and the babies

Here are a few more pictures! Christie, my sister in law, comes over every Friday and takes these pictures. Billy happened to come back to our room while the photo shoot was going on, and he got in some of the pictures. These are good examples of what his face looks like every time he THINKS he feels one of the babies move!

Picture test

This is my attempt to post pictures on here!
It appears that it worked, so here is my belly picture at 21 weeks. We take them every week and I will try to post them on here too. I might go back and put them from the 6-week point, we'll see if that happens or not.

So they call this movement

After several days of speculation and a convincing conversation with my BF Janet, I am pretty sure I am feeling the babies move now. I've been feeling it higher than what I would have thought, but I still think it's them. I thought I have felt a few thumps, and Billy has been trying to feel too. Last night he was resting his hand on my tummy, and when I felt the thump, he kind of furrowed his brow, didn't say anything, but I knew he felt it. He still thinks it could be muscle spasms...but I have no idea why my stomach would be spasming!!!!

Speaking of Billy, he has been rubbing my belly much more, and I think it's the cutest thing. He moved my seatbelt down a little today so he could feel my tummy, just for a minute. I think it's very sweet, and I know he can't wait till he can really feel them, and KNOW it's them!

We have our next doctor's appt on Monday and I a super excited about that. We will have another ultrasound of course, with a DVD and pictures, so I will post some them. Happy Friday!

Is it them!!?!?!?

For the past day or so, I have been trying to be extra concious of feelings in my tummy. There have been several times that I have thought it COULD be them moving around, but I'm not sure. I told Billy my mother's intuition isn't going so well right now!
I have been laying with my hands on my belly a lot, and he has too...and he has asked me how he knows if it's the babies or just my stomach. And I don't know!!!!
I hope we get a clear sign in the next few days!
He has been rubbing my belly a lot more lately. He'll pull up my shirt and put his hands on it, and rub it..which I think is very very sweet. I can tell he is excited and very interested in what is going on in there, and how they are. I have no doubt he's going to be a good dad. Nervous maybe, but good and loving, nonetheless!
I went shopping on Saturday with my sister - in- law, Christie, and we were very successful! I got 2 dresses, 2 pants, 2 skirts and 4 shirts. All work clothes, so I should be able to mix and match and have enough to wear for a while, without having to worry about looking the same everyday. I was very pleased. Tired, but pleased.
I guess that's it for now!

Yes, the clothes monster strikes again

I really don't know why I'm giving this so much thought. It's not stress really...just a constant stream of "what am i going to wear tomorrow."
I went to Ross and Old Navy tonight, nothing.
I'm going to try Sears, again, and JC Penney. I will eventually get to the motherhood outlet in St. Auggie.
I'm continuing to go thru my clothes and move them onto the closet shelf. I have moved most all of my pants, I have one pair I'm going to wear one more time this week, and then that will be it. Only the maternity ones left.
I have allllways wanted to be pregnant and wear maternity clothes. I have been so excited about this and I still am. Only now, I have to worry about actually looking nice and professional. I never really thought about that before.
Oh well, I'm just going to keep going along, and looking and buying if I see something that will work.
On a different note, I am still feeling really good and eveything seems to be going well. I still haven't felt them move, at least not that I know of, and I am anxiously awaiting it to happen any day. I'm very ready to feel SOMETHING! I'm definitely glad my tummy is growing and I'm showing now though. Pregnancy is being very good to me so far, and I just hope it continues and I can be as good to the babies as they are being to me right now! :-)

The Desire to be Comfortable

I have been slowly going through my closet, piece by piece, and moving stuff out as I outgrow it. I made progress this weekend and re-folded a lot of stuff and have it neatly stacked in very high rows at the top of my closet. I was going thru some more stuff tonight and I made a decision - even if I CAN still zip some of skirts, maybe not to the top, but mostly all the way up, I look ridiculous and once I sit down, all day at my desk, I will be uncomfy.
There is no sense in that at all.
I'm pregnant and I need to be comfy, for me and my babies. They don't want to be squished, just so I can wear a skirt suit to work.
Plus, I think without wearing maternity clothes, I look overweight, not pregnant. I just stick out farther, and there'd be no real way to tell I was pregnant. I want people to know and to see my tummy and smile. Not think in their heads that I needed to lose weight.
So that being said, I should be moving the rest of my skirts out. I think that most of my pants have already made the journey, but just in case they haven't, they will be this week.
This does mean though that I have to get some new work clothes, I can't wear black pants every day for the next 4 months, lol....
Happy Sunday!

It could have been...

The babies I felt last night, not sure though. Everyone has said it feels like fluttering, and I felt like I could have been having a muscle spasm of sorts. Just for a quick moment...or make gas bubbles. I just felt something gurgling aruond almost, I might not be making any sense.
I tried to keep feeling it, but I never did.
So I'm not sure it was the babies or not. BUT if it was, I wanted to document, at 9:30 pm last night, on 9/9/08, it COULD have been the first time I felt them.

Materniry Clothes 1, Beth 1

Yes, folks, we are tied now. I went today to try to find some pants for work, as I wore the ones B's mom got me 3 times last week to work. I came out with 2 new pants, BUT - they are both black, as are my other ones. Soooo, I now have 2 pair of black pants. That's Ok though, they are all comfy and I'll change them out. I also got a new shirt, Kohl's had buy one get one free.
On another happy note - we finally got our crib bedding! I have been looking for a looong time now, and finally saw some in person, rather than online, which makes a big difference. I drug Billy to Burlington tonight and we finally agreed on one, so I'm pleased.
We decided to get the same bedding, and worry about individualizing them later, with monogrammed things, and paintings.
All in all, it's been a lovely weekend, and I have felt very productive. Oh yeah - one of the biggest things - I registered!
Janet with me on Saturday morning and I registered at Target and Babies R Us. I got a lot of things, a lot of things I don't even know what they are, but she said to put them on there, so I did. It was fun though. It was nice to spend time with my bf, being productive, and learning from her!
That's it for now!

3 Years of Bliss

Today is our 3 year anniversary. It seems like it has flown by but it also seems like we've been together forever. We have had a great run with just the 2 of us, and while I am very sorry it's taken a while to get pregnant, I think it's been good, for us to have this time to ourselves. To travel, to go to amusement parks, museums, the zoo, just go and do what we want and enjoy each other. I think that's very important in a relationship, and we have both agreed that we will continue to do these things, even with 2 babies in tow!

On a very different, and sad, note, tomorrow would have been Baby Ava's due date. I know we don't know when she would have been born, but it would have been around now, and I can't help but feel sad for that. She would have been a beautiful, healthy baby girl, that would have been the light of our lives, until our twins came, and then she'd have to share a little! I still feel sad for my family, for Kristin and the baby that we all lost, and still angry at the girl that caused it. But I know that is normal and nautral and Ok, and I'm ok feeling that way. I don't think about it too much, but right now, when it's so close, I do, and I wonder what her life would have been like, how Kristin would have been with her, how our family dynamics would have changed.
*sigh*
I know there's no reason to dwell, but I can ponder I guess...
Anyway, we miss you Baby Ava and always will and I will look forward to the day when I can hold you and love you like we didn't get to do here on Earth.

First trip to the ER during pregnancy

And hopefully the last!!!
I was out to dinner last time with Kristy and Jules, at the Loop, and we were finished eating, just sitting around talking. I was really listening and suddenly, I started feeling weird. I got very hot and very sweaty and I felt like I was being back into a tunnel of some kind. I couldn't hear well and the room looked weird, and I felt sick. It turns out I was about to pass out. I have no idea why, or why it came on, but it was very sudden and I def. felt like I was about to fall out right there in the Loop.
Jules put me in her car and put the air on me so I could cool down. I sat there for a while and we drove around for a few mins, and my arms started to feel heavy and just weird. They decided it would be best to take me to the ER, to make sure everything was Ok and nothing was wrong with my blood pressure, or anything else.
My doctor on call was not helpful AT ALL. Very indecisive and just all around annoying.
So we checked in at 8:30, Billy came up there, and we got home around 1:00am this morning.
The end of the story is that everything is fine, nothing is wrong, all of my blood work and vitals were normal and good, and they attributed the episode to just being part of pregnancy.
It was slightly scary. I wasn't terrified or anything, just confused about what caused it and why it came on so sudden. But now I know it's to be expected and I guess I'll just have to be aware of it in the future.
I stayed home from work today to rest and take it easy. I feel fine overall, but I've been taking it easy on the couch, so tomorrow should be fine. We have a doctor's appt tomorrow too, and I'm so excited for it, to see the babies and see how they're doing!

Maternity Clothes shopping 1, Beth 0

Well, me and Billy went to the mall yesterday so I could buy some black work pants and a new bra. Last week, some of my pants seemed to just not fit anymore, so I decided it might be time to move into the maternity ones...not every day, but some days.
Well it didn't work out too well. The associates in Motherhood Maternity were NOT what I had hoped for, and they were not interested in helping me at all. I didn't actually ASK anyone for help, but still, no one even greeted me.
We made our way around to several other stores, Billy tried to get me into fancy Dillard's and get help from them, which I declined. We went to Sears, and I found a rack of bras, tried them on, and...they just weren't right. All of them are nursing bras, which obviously I don't need yet. The pants I tried on were too big, and looked stupid.
So we left. I gave up and will try again in another week - 2 weeks. I'll deal with what I have for now and on those days when the pants are just too tight, I'll wear something else!

Maternity clothes, here we come!

Yes, it has been a very long time since I've written in here. Not sure why...wasn't feeling in the mood I guess. But, since we are in the middle of a tropical storm, and I don't have an overabundance of things to do right now, I thought I'd check in.

A brief catch up. I am 16 weeks pregnant today, with twins! Everything seems to be going fine, and we go back next week for our next appt. We are very excited, since we haven't seen the babies in a month. The pregnancy has been going very well, I haven't been sick, I haven't been overly tired. I've had some bouts of heartburn, but I can deal with that. And today is the first day I'm wearing a maternity shirt. I really don't need it yet, pants yes, shirts now, BUT - I didn't have anything else to wear, and I was hurried, so I chose to go ahead and wear it. And I like it.
I think that this weekend will be a trip to the mall, to try to find a new bra, and some new pants. I need some work pants that are comfy, and most of mine, at least this week, have not been!

This post is turning out to be shorter than I originally thought, but that's Ok. I really do want to use this blog to keep people updated on what's going on, and also to have something to look back on, at this journey of me and Billy becoming parents!
So I'll do my best to write more often, and we'll see how it goes!

THEY are coming!

Well we found out for sure yesterday that we are pregnant with twins!!!! It is def. twins and oh so scary, yet so exciting too. Right now, today, I am in the throws of worrying about money and our bills and how all of it will work out. I am the first to say, IT just will...but now, that I'm saying it to myself, it's not being so easy.
I know we iwll have to cut back and make some sacrifices. I know we will have to change our lifestyle and make a concious effort to be frugal and save money.
What I'm not sure of is how Billy will accept this and actually do it.
I do NOT want money to play a large role in our marriage, so I'm hoping he will see the light and understand that with 2 small lives coming into our one BIG life, we have to make changes and adapt. It will be very hard, but I know we can do it. The key here is WE.
So I want to relish this excitement and happiness and not get bogged down with the worrisome stuff, but right now, it's a little easier said than done!

Double the cargo?

well my original post just disappeared, soooo, oh well!
we should find out tomorrow if we have twins or not!

Responses

From Kristy: YEAH_HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From Lauren: One million congrats.... you're going to be in my prayers every morning until the twins are born. I've been thinking you're def. pregnant with twins, so I'm going to keep on the mind set :) I'm so happy right. You just made my night. xoxoxo

From Julie: You silly girl! I just knew you were pregnant so I have been praying for baby(ies). So excited for you. Get ready, the fun is about to really start! I'm sure you are anxious to hear about the second sac. Keep us posted.
Congratulations!

From Linda: YAY!!! i wanted to tell you the other day but i had a fish dream the other night and i am not sure if i have ever told you or not about when i have those dreams what that means or not. anyway quick run down whenever i have a fish dream, one with fish in it, someone i know is pregnant. it has NEVER failed and they have all been healthy pregnancies. i had on the other night and i told jesse about it and i also told him that i had hoped that it was for you so YAY!! also in the dream there was 2 fish so if you have twins i called it first!! i am so excited and i will keep praying for you.

From Jamie: CONGRATULATIONS!

From Jules: Oh Honeybear! Yes yesyesyesyesyesyes...i am so happy for you two (maybe 4!). Lets get together again soon before you are too tired - cuz that is coming soon!

love love love,
Jules

From Harry: Congratulations! I am very happy for you guys. I know how much you have wanted to have a child, and with all the extra stuff you had to go through to conceive I am sure this must be so special for you. Twins will be a handful, won't they? Hopefully you wwill have smooth sailing all the way through.

From Heather: BETH!!!!! I am so happy for you all. Does it feel weird saying "I am pregnant"? I am so excited for you!! It is such a wonderful blessing.

From Lori:

YEY!! HIP, HIP HORRAY!!!!!

I AM SO EXCITED FOR YA'LL. I CAN'T STOP SMILING AND GIGGLING!! I AM JUST HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY!!!! I WISH I COULD JUST HUG YOU RIGHT NOW!!!

KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU AND WISH YOU NOTHING BUT THE BEST!! :-)

From Wendy: You have just made my millennium...I'm soooo happy for you!!!! CONGRATS!!!!

From Auntie Janet: I really can't remember what she said! She said yay, I'm very happy. I told her on the phone and I think she already knew! I think she just had a hunch! :-)

The announcement to friends

Pictures for you:

Of our little embryo(s)!!!!!! :-)

Yes friends, we are pregnant! I went to the doctor today for our first fetal ultrasound and everything is A-Ok. They are couning me at 5 weeks and 5 days, so as of Friday, I will be 6 full weeks. I have no idea how that works, but basically the took the date that the eggs were fertilized and added 2 weeks.

Anyway, all is well and things are progressing as they should be. There is still a possibility that I am carrying twins, he coulnd't say conclusively one way or the other. He sees another sac and says he sees what he thinks could be an embryo, but the sac is much smaller than the other one. He said it could be another sac and it could just be small, and he also said he might not have been able to get a good angle on it. Anyway, hopefully we'll know for sure by next week if it's twins or not.

I will go back and have ultrasounds once a week until I'm about 10 weeks along, and then I"ll be released from them and go to a regular Ob doctor.

Ummmm....I'm trying to think of anything else. Not much else to tell. But I'm Pregnant!!!!!!!!! We are very happy and excited, slightly nervous, but good.

At this point, we have not told any other family members, besides parents and siblings, and I"m still not 100-% sure when we will share the news. Sooo, for ya'll, keep it on the down low for a little while. IN the next couple of weeks I'm sure we will have shared with everyone. I wanted ya'll to know though so you can keep praying for us, and sending happy, positive, good energy to us. I want everything surrounded by hopefulness and positivity, so think about us and be happy, very happy!!!! :-)

I love you all! :-)

Love,

Positivity

Well,k our results are positive!!!! We got our message yesterday about 3:00pm, and the nurse said our test was positive. We are very excited, and I still feel like we might slightly be in shock that all of this is finally coming to fruition.
We have told our moms and both were excited. I wanted it to be different for both of them, I wanted to do it in person and try to tape it andblah blah blah, but with these circumstances, eveyone knew when we were going to find out. So it took the surprise away.
I might still wait and tell my dad in person, not sure yet.
And we are both going to tell our grandparents in person too. I hope, if my mom doesn't spill the beans first, ,lol....
But it's very exciting and I'm just so thankful that our cycle worked and all seems to be well. I will go back on the 11th for a pregnancy scan and then I don't know what happens from there. I guess at some point I will see my OB-GYN doctor, which I have to get into by the way, because I am switching doctors.
So we'll see how all that works out!

Working the hours away

Yes, I'm blogging at work, but today I feel nervous. today is our day. I did my blood draw and now we just have to get thru the day and get home and listen to our message.
I hate to say that I am nervous, but I am. I am having some stomach issues, and I'm trying to just push thru, but the last thing I wnat to do is work, even though it would pass the next 4 hours quicker than just sitting.
I know that whatever is meant to happen WILL happen, but....I hope we are meant to have our baby now. On this try, at this time in our lives.
Scary, nerve-racking stuffffff!

The big day

Is tomorrow!!! And while I've said I'm not nervous, I am...now that it's so close!!!!
Eeeeek! We will know tomorrow in the afternoon, when we get home we should have a message waiting for us.
I can't wait to know for sure!

The Proud Recipients

This is an e-mail I sent out yesterday, after having the transfer:

We are the proud recipients of 2 120-cell embryos, called blastocysts. They were implanted about 2:30 I would say. You have to have a very full bladder for them to do this procedure, which is uncomfortable in itself, but once you start inserting speculums and pushing down with an ultrasound machine on your belly, it gets even worse!He said everything went really well though, so that is good. It took a few extra mins to get the catheter thru my cervix and they had to go out and back in with a second, harder plastic catheter(eek!), BUT - everyone was super nice.; Billy was holding my hand, and both nurses were really good too.

You know that they retrieved 17 eggs, and we had 9 of them that were fertilized. On Monday, we had 6 8-cell embryos, which is where they were supposed to be, and then today when we went in, we only had 3. It's amazing to me how fast things change and don't progress normally. The embryologist was quick to say that in a cohort of eggs, only a couple are destined to become babies. That was reality right smack in the face.

Anyway, basically he showed us the 2 embryos he wanted to put in, with a 3rd one lagging behind, and we made the decision to only put the 2 in. Before we left, he looked again at the other remaining embryos and thought one showed signs of better progression, soooo, it might be that by tomorrow, day 6, the embryologist believes they would be viable if frozen. If he doesn't think they will be, and he doesn't think the chances are good that they will survive a freezing and thawing cycle, we might not do it. But we really hoped to have at least a couple leftover to freeze. Anyway, we'll know for sure about that tomorrow.

So as of right now, I have 2 small, sweet and very precious embryos inside of me, and we just have to hope and pray that they will implant and result in a healthy pregnancy. I am resting today, not doing much of anything, but after today, pretty much anything is fair game. The nurse said I could go back to normal activities, with the exception of swimming, baths, intercourse and anything that raises by body temperature very much.

So all should be well.

Thank you all for your support and prayers, that is what's going to make this work. Me and Billy really want this....so please keep up the prayers, and we'll keep you updated as things change and move forward.

5/22/08, Real time post
We talked about our embryos and what they were doing. Billy is being very sweet and telling me not to do much, just to rest and relax. I made him tell them that he loved them. We do love them, even though they are only 120 cells right now, I hope they have multiplied into many more by now...
I hope hope hope these guys will implant and we will have a healthy pregnancy. That's all I'm hoping for right now.

The Oceanic 6

As of Monday, we had 6 embryos that were developing at normal rates. I don't know how many we have now, we won't know that until we get there later today. I hope there are still 6, cause they seem to disappear and not progress so quickly!
I am slightly nervous, but definitely ready to get it over with and see if it works. I have good feelings...and bad feelings sometimes. I am trying to keep my mind clear though and not dwell and for the most part, that seems to work.
The next few weeks will be the true test though, to see how I handle the waiting. Because there is simply nothing I can do to help things, we just have to leave it in God's hands and hope we iwll be blessed with a healthy pregnancy.
I guess that's it for now.

And then there were 9...

Well after the retrieval yesterday, the nurse called this afternoon and let us know that 9 of our eggs had been fertilized. We had 17 eggs, and now we have 9 fertilized eggs, which I'm pretty sure they refer to as embryos.
We should not hear from them tomorrow, but again on Monday.
Right now the transfer is going to be on Wednesday afternoon.

All the eggs in one basket

Except in this case they will be in a dish, under a microscope. Today I am going to have my eggs retrieved and hopefully fertilized by Billy's "contribution." we will know today how many eggs they took out and over the next couple of days how many fertilized and are viable to be implanted back in me.
It's exciting, and sort of scary at the same time. I hope I did all of my meds right, I think I did, but I still have that nagging voice in the back saying " you shoud have done, you could have done."
BUT - all we can do now is hope and pray that this work and we are blessed with a healthy pregnancy.
Today's the day! First step in conceiving our child! :-)
Wish us luck!

Webcam fun!

Tonight is the night I decided to video myself doing the nightly injections. And yes, that means I am still doing the injections, I did not get the news I wanted to from the doctor today. It's ok though, we are just a day or so off schedule, and that means I got a chance to make my little videos. I used B's new webcam on his laptop and I taped myself doing the 3 different injections. I've watched the first one and it's kind of corny, but I think I'll like to look back on this. I told Billy that some people made sex tapes, but we are making injection tapes, because THIS is how our baby is being made, lol...

Anyway, my follicles are not quite as big as they need to be, so I have to wait another couple of days for the retrieval. It was supposed to be on Thursday, but he told me it would be Friday or Saturday now. I definitely feel different though. My belly feels full and bloated and that's what it's supposed to do. I'll go back on Wednesday morning and we'll see how much more they've grown and hopefully be ready to proceed.

I was sitting in the doctor's office this morning thinking about what a somber place it is. It's not a bad thing necessarily, but everyone kind of gives you the half hearted smile, the " I know why you're here" smile. And while I think that's nice, I almost feel like I'm at a funeral, or someone's viewing...I don't make much eye contact, I look down and give that weird SMILE. We are at a fertility clinic! Feritlity. That is a positive word, right? I mean yes, we are having problems, but we have hope. Some people dont' have any hope yet. But we still do, and I feel like I need to be positive about that and have a more optimistic attitude about it. And I feel like I do, I feel like I've had a good attitude this whole time. Maybe not every single day, all day, but overall yes, good attitude. One point for Beth! :-)

So the next few times I go in I am going to try to smile more, a real genuine smile. Just a regular, hello how are you smile, and not a sympathetic smile. We dont' need sympathy, we need hope.

Mother's Day

Because I don't know how these shots work, tonight COULD have been my last shots, at least the series of them. I don't know if I will do them tomorrow night or not. I most definitely will NOT miss them one little bit!
I have another ultrasound in the morning and I am just keeping my fingers crossed that everything is still on schedule. As of Friday it was. It's weird to know though that things are going on inside your body that you have no control over. You do what they tell you to, and just hope for the best.
I thought a lot today about this time next year and if I'll be a mom next Mother's Day. I hope hope hope to be! I'll be a very new mom if it happens on this try. Again, I'm praying and keeping my fingers crossed.
That's it for now, will update tomorrow after my appt.

The real start

I have been thinking of starting a blog for a while now, and have been putting it off. I decided today that I wanted to start documenting this process, maybe not in a public way yet, but in my own way. So I would have something to look back on and remember these confusing and scary days and hopefully smile about them with a sweet baby in my arms.

Tonight I went back and copy and pasted e-mails into the blog, just as a start. So I can see how it all started and just the updates that I sent to everyone.

Tonight is night 3 of taking 3 shots at one time. I started my first injection on 4/26/08, and it has not been so bad, now that I know what to do. I started the other 2 on Monday night and they are slightly worse. The needles are bigger, and you have to get them ready, and it takes a little time. Overall though, it's not so bad. The first night, we were both slightly overwhelmed and just read the directions and got thru it the best way we could. Last night was better, so I hope tonight will be a breeze. I go back on Friday morning for another ultrasound and hopefully we will still be on schedule for everything next week.

Next Thursday, the 15th, I could have my eggs retrieved and attempt to be fertilized. It's exciting, but kind of scary at the same time. Also slightly weird to know that they are doing all of this in a petri dish. BUT, I'm very thankful that they are ABLE to do it, and we have this chance of having a baby of our own.

Anyway, this is my first official blog entry and this won't be public for a while, but when it is, I hope it will be interesting, and maybe helpful to someone, to look back and read about our journey to having a family.

Medicine appt

Tuesday we received all of our medication in the mail, via UPS. I was quite surprised when I opened the box and all of THIS was in there!
We had our first official IVF appt with a nurse today. I had to bring all of the medication in and she went over how to give it, how to give the injections, when to take what, what to expect, etc.
It was A LOT of information and I just hope that we both took all of it in. It is a little intimidating right now, but I hope that once we actually start doing it, it will seem a bit easier.
Everything is still on track with the same calendar as before. Today I had an ultrasound with saline, where they injected saline solution in my uterus to make sure it looked Ok and there were no abnormalities, which there aren't, thank goodness!
So all is well until the 26th, when I get my first shot, yay!
So anyway, just a mini update. Here is all of my medication and just a glimpse of how I'm feeling about all of this, lol...
Love ya'll,
Beth

Hi everyone! Just a quick e-mail to give you an update on what is happening with us. I met with the nurse practitioner yesterday for a check in about my diet, and on Friday of last week I got a packet in the mail with an IVF schedule. This was a surprise to me, since I thought I wouldn't know when we would start until after this appt ( yesterday).

Anyway, we will be starting the IVF process/cycle in April, and will go thru May. Basically what that means is that we meet with our nurse on 4/16 and go over everything. I will start having sonograms, I think 6 or 7 in total, and I will start the injectable hormones the last week of April. I will do them for about 3 weeks and we hope to do an egg retrieval on May 15th. That is our target date. We will then either implant them on May 18th or 20th, depending on which day the embryologist thinks is best.

I was not going to tell anyone about all of this, because I did want it to be sort of a surprise when we got pregnant, but I decided that I love you guys and you are all my closest friends, so I wanted you all to know, because I know I need prayers and support.

I would ask that you not spread the word too much though, because I don't want a lot of people asking me about it, especially if it doesn't take the first time, I think that would be too hard on me, having to go back and tell everyone it didn't work.

So, keep it quiet for a while if you would.
Kristy, I will be telling Jules and Lori I will be telling Linda, I just didn't have their e-mail addresses here at work.

Janet, you can tell Jamie too, or I will if you want.
Soo, that's the scoop! We are very hopeful and right now I think I am more nervous than excited. It doesn't seem real right now to me, but maybe after we meet with the nurse it will….

I just wanted to share our news and the update.
Love you all,
Beth

I went back to the fertility doctor yesterday morning to get the results of my lab work and glucose tolerance I did on the 14th. It seems that I have a metabolic disorder, and my hormones are not balanced at all. I have much more testosterone that I'm supposed to have, and the doctor said I am Insulin Resistant - which means that I am basically on the path to having full blown diabetes later in life. He said it is a genetic thing, and not something I could have prevented, but it is treatable, since we know now, in the early stages. Because of the insulin resistance, I have what is called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, which again, goes hand in hand with being insulin resistant. The ovaries send out hormones to release eggs ( ovulation) and since my hormones are not balanced, they are not being released right, etc. which is why my cycles have not been regular since going off the pill.

Anyway - basically the bottom line is that we will have to wait 3-5 months to start trying to get pregnant. He wants to try to regulate my insulin and hormone levels, before he adds a pregnancy to the mix. People will polycystic ovarian syndrome have a 50% chance of miscarriage, and much higher rates of premature babies, gestational diabetes, pre-eclampsia, placenta tearing away from the uterus, abnormal weight gain and a host of other very bad things in pregnancy. If we can regulate my body and get it in normal to low ranges, then he believes all of these risks will be lowered dramatically, to about 5-10%.

He said that he would rather have me at the optimum place to get pregnant and have all of these things as controlled as they can be, so that I will have the very best chance of getting pregnant, staying pregnant and having a healthy baby.

Sooooo, I will go back on birth control pills for the next few months, and I have also started taking a pill called Glucofage ( sp?). The biggest way to treat this is with nutrition changes, so I have 2 weeks to totally wean myself off of carbs - and then when we go back in 2 weeks, I will be on a Zero Carb Diet!!!! Zero, none. We will do that for a few months, see how things are progressing, what the levels are doing and then proceed from there.

I really hope it will be more in the 3 month range, rather than the 5 month range, but I am trying to be positive and just take one thing at a time, though it is very hard.

I was not expecting this news yesterday at all, I was quite shocked and confused, and just didn't even know what to say, other than to ask the few questions that came to my mind. I am frustrated that we have to keep waiting, and I feel like there are barriers all around, that we keep hitting, when we just want to start our family…but I have to trust that God has a plan for this, and I have to keep following it and trusting it.

So, please send strength and prayers our way. I am concerned about being able to stick to the diet, I am afraid I will not have the self-discipline to do it, but I am going to try my best. Billy says it's " not a big deal" but it feels like a very big deal, because it is a huuuuge lifestyle change for me, one I am willing to make, I am just afraid of not doing it good enough. But again, I can only try and try my best, and see what happens.

I will keep you updated on any other changes, but I wanted to pass along this info.
Love ya'll,
Beth

I'm sorry today is a crazy day for me, have not been able to log onto e-mail very much.

Everything went Ok. I'm not overly excited about the doctor, he was not very personable and I just didn't feel like he really answered my questions patiently and thoroughly. He was nice enough I guess, but Billy thought he was like a robot, lol...

Anyway, bascially, he gave me some info, asked a ton of questions, and we have some sort of plan. I really wanted a timeline, but I dont' have one. Basically, I have to go for lab tests first, whic I have an appt for next week and I will meet with him again in 2 weeks. After we meet again, he will put me on some sort of de-regulation/suppresive medicine that bascially puts my ovaries in a basal state ( sort of like birth control pills do). I'm not sure how long Ill do this, maybe a month? ( this is what I don't feel like he gave me a clear time line). Anyway, after I do the de-regulation thing, I will start the injectable hormones and again, not sure how long I do that. After that, they'll retrieve eggs and all that good stuff. He said the whole IVF process takes about 6 weeks, and I'm pretty sure he says taht the 6 weeks starts when I start the injectable hormones.

Billy has to do 2 semen analysis, and he has the appt for the first one next week.

Sooo, all of that being said, I hope to start the injectable stuff by maybe the first part of March? That is just in my head though, the doctor didn't actually give me any dates or anything. I think he wants to do the lab work first, make sure there is nothing else hormonal going on with me, and will then proceed.

It was very overwhelming and I felt tired when we left.