Saying good-bye

After this week of losing Janet's mom, it was harder for me to say good-bye to my family today when they left. I'm always sorry to see them go...but this time, once I got in my car, I felt a little extra sense of sadness that they are far away and I don't get to spend much time with them. At Renae's funeral on Friday, the pastor talked about time..and using all the time we have now. Right now, for the good, and not putting off loving someone, or doing something for someone...just show everyone each and every day how much you love and care for them. Renae did that, she showed people that she loved them. I want to do that too, and it makes me sad that I can't see my family as regularly as I'd like to.

On a different note, the reason they came down was to do my nursery and it is done! I love it! We painted the walls green, Asparagus, and we put all the furniture together, put the border up, etc. I will take pictures later and post them. It looks good though and I am very thankful they were able to come down and help me do it, well actually they did it all. I didn't do much of anything, lol...

The babies are definitely moving more now and it's neat to feel them. Billy can def. feel them, and Christie has felt them. My mom finally did last night, after trying several times, so that was good. Not to go back to the funeral again, but during the service, it was strange to me that we were saying good-bye to Renae and could feel our precious babies moving and thumping me at the same time. They are just starting life, and Renae's has ended and she's moving on the next stage now. It just seemed...I don't know what the word is, ironic. I was so sad to be there to say good-bye to Renae, I feel so sad for her family, especially Janet, one of the most precious people to me in the world, but I felt happy inside because I was feeling the babies move. And I think that is Ok. I felt weird about it for just a short minute, but I know Renae wouldn't have wanted that, she would be happy to know that we have been able to accomplish this, and have these babies that we've wanted for so long. Anyway, I am rambling now, sorry.

Overall, this last week has been tiring, draining, sad, hard...but also happy and promising for me. I feel so blessed to have my family and friends and I want to hold on to them for dear life and never let go. I want to enjoy everything single minute of every single thing, and I am going to strive to do that. The end.